In high school, I wasn't a cool kid nor was I an outcast kid. I was pretty average and had a lot of friends across the spectrum. This particular story involves my two friends, Coop and Derrick, who were known around the school for doing fun but semi-suspendable things in our school such as "Matrix day" and sledding in grand case. Now, initially I wasn't involved in the plan but I caught wind of it, in fact EVERYBODY did. In my High school, if people knew something was going down where their clothes could possibly get dirtied or there wasn't a possibility of a fight they would totally avoid it. I forget what lunch period we had, but pretty much no one was there. Half the people who heard about it bailed and the other half suspiciously had their hoodies up or something to say "I want to see this but don't hit me." So, needless to say nothing happened that day.
After that attempt, I pulled up Coop, who is pretty much the mastermind of these hilarious events, and told him we have to keep it small. We came up with this plan: We only need 5 people to start it-one in each corner to throw towards the center, and one person in the center to guarantee that someone gets hit. This was pretty much a flawless plan because after the first one failed no one was expecting another one to happen so soon. Since I wasn't going to be a thrower I decided to be the point-man /spotter and sit in a center location so a friend could easily find me. Besides Derrick and Marcus, I honestly don't recall who else was involved.
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| A brief look at the plan |
Anyway, the next day comes and we are ready to do this. I'm in the cafeteria, I bought actually food, because A) I don't want to look suspicious and B) I need ammunition for when this thing goes down. I note Marcus is in one corner and so I know everyone else is set except the center guard. Turns out that was Derrick, and he comes flying sitting next to me. As soon as I saw this I knew it was going down, so I got ready. Now Derrick had purchased the sub, the 6 inch nastiness they served us in lunch with a whole lot of lettuce and tomatoes and other stuff so that when it hit it hit and left a mark. This is when everything went into slow-mo.
Over on the far side of the cafeteria is this one lonely white kid. I point out that he was white because we are a predominantly black school so he was like 1 of 10 white kids, so this made him a good target. I see Derrick lock on to him and pick up his sub and fling it over in his direction. The whole time I'm watching this sub in awe floating through the air in what seemed like an eternity. I'm just waiting for this to hit so the rest of the plan could unfold. Moments later (which it felt like) the sub MISSED. It hits in front of the kid and slides off the end of the table, and the best part is the kid didn't even noticed it happened. Well.... *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*. That didn't go as plan...and as soon as that thought came out Derrick tried again with his milk that came with the meal. Again we wait..........And Again same thing. Lands right in front of the kid and bounce off, didn't notice. Well even though he missed what about the other 4? Well I turned and see them all miss too. 5 people all missed. What the hell. I looked around for a bit to see if anyone in the lunch room even noticed what had happened and no one seem to care. It was at this point I said "eff it" and walked out of the cafeteria. I was sure that plan would work and somehow karma proved me wrong.
But to this day, that one sub, that missed an entire being by mere inches somehow amazes me. Better yet I am more surprised he never noticed. If you are reading this and you were that kid, and you did notice, you could have thrown something back. Just saying lol
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Editor's note: Apparently one unsuspecting girl was hit in the neck/back of the head with a potato as confirmed by Coop. Video may be posted soon.
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